11.28.2008

Why do schools of whales beach themselves?

Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down


12:11 PM CST on Friday, November 28, 2008

Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Police say a Wal-Mart worker has died after being trampled by a throng of unruly shoppers shortly after the Long Island store opened Friday.

Nassau County police say the 34-year-old worker was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead at about 6 a.m., an hour after the store opened. The cause of death was not immediately known.

A police statement says a throng of shoppers “physically broke down the doors, knocking him to the ground.” Police also say a 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital for observation.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., in Bentonville, Arkansas, would not confirm the reports of a stampede during the day-after-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, but said a “medical emergency” caused them to close the store.

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11.21.2008

no comment necessary

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11.20.2008

Oh DAMN this guy is good.


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The whole world hates George W. Bush

But they will still love him in Dallas. Sigh.

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The Chemical makeup of the human body

Useful knowledge... i think.. listed out in detail belowElement Percent of MassMass (kg)Oxygen65% of mass43kgCarbon18% of mass16kgHydrogen10% of mass7kgNitrogen3% of mass1.8kgCalcium1.5% of mass1.0kgPhosphorus1% of mass0.780kgPotassium0.25% of mass0.140kgSulfur0.25% of mass0.140kgSodium0.15% of mass0.100kgChlorine0.15% of mass0.095kg
Magnesium
0.05% of mass0.019kgIron
0.006% of mass
0.0042kgFluorine0.0037% of mass0.0026kgZinc
0.0032% of mass0.0023kgSilicon 0.002% of mass0.0010kgRubidium
0.00046% of mass0.00068kgStrontium0.00046% of mass0.00032kgBromine0.00029% of mass0.00026kgLead
0.00017
% of mass
0.00012kgCopper0.0001
% of mass0.000072kgAluminium0.000087% of mass0.000060kgCadmium
0.000072
% of mass
0.000050kg
Cerium0.000040
% of mass
Barium0.000031% of mass0.000022kgTin
0.000024
% of mass0.000020kg
Iodine0.000016
% of mass
0.000020kg
Titanium0.000013
% of mass0.000020kgBoron0.000069% of mass0.000018kgSelenium
0.000019
% of mass
0.000015kg
Nickel
0.000014
% of mass
0.000015kg
Chromium
0.0000024
% of mass
0.000014kg
Manganese
0.000017
% of mass
0.000012kg
Arsenic
0.000026
% of mass
0.000007kg
Lithium
0.0000031
% of mass
0.000007kg
Mercury
0.000019
% of mass
0.000006kgCaesium
0.0000021
% of mass
0.000006kg
Molybdenum
0.000013
% of mass
0.000005kg
Germanium
0.000005
% of massCobalt
0.0000021
% of mass0.000003kg
Antimony0.000011
% of mass0.000002kgSilver0.000001% of mass0.000002kgNiobium
0.00016
% of mass
0.0000015kgZirconium0.0006
% of mass0.000001kgLanthanum0.0000008% of massTellurium
0.000012
% of mass0.0000007kg
Gallium0.0000007
% of mass
Yttrium0.0000006% of massBismuth
0.0000005
% of massThallium0.0000005% of massIndium
0.0000004
% of massGold0.000014% of mass0.0000002kgScandium0.0000002% of massTantalum
0.0000002
% of massVanadium0.000026% of mass0.00000011kgThorium0.0000001% of massUranium
0.00000013
% of mass
0.0000001kg
Samarium
0.000000050
% of massTungsten0.000000020% of massBeryllium
0.000000005
% of mass
0.000000036kg
Radium0.00000000000000001
% of mass


More info
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Astronauts vow remaining tool bag won't drift away.

NASA guessed it cost about $100,000. Read more!

11.19.2008

HOLY CRAP

A little girl almost falls off of a cliff.

Disclaimer: this is a clip of a hyped-up nightly news story, complete with obnoxiously "alpha" male news-caster voice. The presentation is terrible so I'll put it in the "read more" so as not to clutter the cultural asylum. but it's good for a mild heart attack.



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yes. thermo-nuclear explosions. no. terrible score. huh? stupid editing.

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obama and mcfly 1955

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11.18.2008

More Television-Depression links

Television is one of the primary causes of depression and unhappiness.

I've long argued that Television leads to unhappiness and depression. We grow up with fantastic plot-lines in sitcoms and live by comparison. Rarely do you see people on television, watch television. Here is more proof. I'd love to fund a television-art-program that is just a show of people watching TV.
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11.14.2008

DEATH METAL BAND NAMES FROM SCIENCE BOOKS

None of these exist as far as i know, but they could and should.


Putrescine

Cadaverine

Mycotoxin

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11.10.2008

over.

the running roll of things that are over. or nearly over.

rogers & hammerstien references
gilbert & sullivan references
"Where you were when JKF was killed."
The expansion of the petrochemical industry.
bows + arrows.
Larry King.
Compassionate Conservatism.
Free-market Capitalism.
Whale-oil.
Moon-Men
Virginity until marriage.
Heaven, in the "pearly gates" sense.
Rocky Franchise.
White Jesus.
Multi-Tasking.
any "new black"
punk
Pogoballs (with a small chance of a brief resurgence)
Anti-Intellectualism (barring a catastrophic event)
Garage Bands.
"open" relationships.
privacy.
digital (and most other) media-copyrights.
Television. (as we know it)
land-lines
pennies (endangered: nickels. and on watch: dimes.)
Most large animals' natural habitats.
Freemasons.
Free, unlimited water.
unlimited internet.

and on the Please please please please please oh please, wish list:
the need for electric chords
or Regis Philbin (it's a tossup)
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11.08.2008

more gods being consumed... recurring theme

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ymir Read more!

11.07.2008

further signs of the growing black hole of human intelligence, also known as executive america

Viacom faces a number of challenges, chief among them is the fact that its cash cow networks, MTV, VH1 and BET, are having ratings problems.

The company claims that ratings have gone soft because teens and 20-somethings are are tired of repeat programming. The solution, according to chief executive Philippe Dauman, is to "increase the amount of original programming;" add more components to "engage viewers" and experiment with "new ways to better serve our young audience and marketing partners."

Viacom also plans to ramp up promotional spots for some of its hits, including "The Hills" (above), "America's Best Dance Group" and "Exiled;" and to roll out some new original programs.

The comments were made during Wednesday's conference call, which was held to discuss Viacom's fairly rotten third-quarter. Net income fell 37 percent to $401 million, or 65 cents per share, down from $641 million, or 96 cents per share, last year.
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Studs Terkel leaves with one last great line...

Curiosity never killed this cat.

Studs Terkel's proposed epitaph


which inspired a skim through some other great epitaphs...
here in no order.. are some i came across....



To save your world you asked this man to die:
Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
The Unknown Soldier, written by W. H. Auden

My Jesus Mercy
Alphonse Capone

She failed her breathalizer test
now she lays with the best
Jeanine Custis
Rosehill Cemetery
Newburg, Indiana

Jefferson Davis
At Rest
An American Soldier
And Defender of the Constitution
(1808-1889)
Jefferson Davis
Hollywood Cemetery,
Richmond, Virginia

Bill Blake

Was hanged by mistake.

Colorado

Here lies a man named Zeke.

Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

Silver City, Nevada


Goembel

John E.

1867-1946

"The defense rests"


Here lies the body

of John Round.

Lost at sea

and never found.

Belturbet, Ireland


Here lies

Elizabeth,

my wife for 47 years,

and this is the first damn thing

she ever done to oblige me.

Streatham Churchyard, England


Here lies

Ezekiel Aikle

Age 102

The Good

Die Young.

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia


I was somebody.

Who, is no business

of yours.

Stowe, Vermont


Cold is my bed, but oh, I love it,

For colder are my friends above it.

Calvary Cemetery, Chicago, Illinois


Ellen Shannon

age 26 years

Who was fatally burned

March 21, 1870

by the explosion of a lamp

filled with "R. E. Danforth's

Non-Explosive

Burning Fluid."

Girard, Pennsylvania


Arthur C. Homan's epitaph:

Once I wasn't

Then I was

Now I ain't again.

Cleveland, Ohio


Thomas Stagg's epitaph:

That is all

St. Giles Churchyard, London, England


Jesse James
Kearney, Missouri

Died April 3, 1882
Aged 34 years, 6 months, 28 days
Murdered by a traitor and a coward
whose name is not worthy
to appear here.


Val Nolan
Death Valley National Park, California
Died Aug 1931

Buried Nov 6 1931

A Victim of the Elements

Oscar Wilde
Pere Lachais,
Paris, France
And alien tears will fill for him
Pity's long-broken urn,
For his mourners will be outcast men,
And outcasts always mourn.


The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer (like the cover of an old book, its
contents worn out, and stript of its lettering and gilding) lies here, food for
worms. Yet the work itself shall not lost, for it will, as he
believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful
edition, corrected and amended by its Author


Rodney Dangerfield - 1921-2004

"There goes the neighborhood."


"Hic depositum est, quod mortale fuit Isaaci Newtoni,"

which is translatable as

"here is deposited what was mortal of Isaac Newton"



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worldphuckingchamps

3rd strike for me... some punk is making a KILLING off of these shirts... Read more!

We the Raptures and we here to say...

a dialogue for a graphic novel i will never illustrate. Read more!

11.06.2008

Philadelphia will cut you!

revolutionary war cheval-de-frise found last year in great condition in delaware river, south philadelphia. I feel obliged as a Hessian to go attempt to impale myself on it. but i won't. america started here. Read more!
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